Indroduction To My First Story

  • Well  in  a minute you will have a chance to read the intro to my first story. Please tell me your thoughts and opinions.  I welcome all comments positve and negative!  Also if you are writing a story I would love to read it. And if you need help with proofreading or finding a publisher try this company

    Hope you enjoy!



    Gus and Edmond had just ducked behind the well when they heard the screams of Edmonds ten year old little sister, Anika who was the latest victim in their most recent string of terror. They where still laughing uncontrollably when Gus’s father Jozef found them several minutes later. The stern look on her fathers withered face told her that they had gone to far this time and she was going to be lucky if she ever saw the light of day again.

    Gus and Edmond have been best friends as far back as anyone can remember. Gus was born on the fifth of November 1923 to Jozef and Irena Diviacky. Irena had just enough time to see and name her beautiful blonde haired girl. “We shall name her Augustine after your mama Jozef”, she said with a smile just before she took her last breath. Augustine started to whimper the moment her mother died it was as if she too were in mourning.

    Jozef mother gently took the new baby and held her tightly, rocking her back and forth feeling and like the weight of the world had just fallen on her shoulders and knowing it was her job now to protect this sweet little baby from this harsh and cruel world she had just entered. She was torn between her sadness over the death of her once beloved daughter-in-law Irena, who was more like a daughter to her than a daughter- in-law, and the joy she felt by holding her first grand child and namesake, Augustine. With tears running down her face she slowly gave Irena one last kiss and then turned to go so that Jozef could say goodbye to his best friend and wife.

    Edmond was born on the fifth of December 1923 to Milos and Agata Ludanicky, a local shepherd and weaver. The moment he appeared kicking and screaming with all his worth Edmond’s parents knew they had a strong healthy boy and that this was just the beginning of their adventures with him. Most people say that it was only natural for Gus who was one month older than Edmond to be best friends for they were the only two children born in the village that year or the next.

    To a stranger Gus might appear to be a beautiful young lady on the verge of woman hood with her curly blond hair, green eyes, creamy smooth skin and small stature but to the small village of Vlkolinec she was nothing but a contentious young girl who is in need of a woman’s touch and some discipline. Gus had been raised by her father Jozef both the mayor and pastor of Vlkolinec and grandfather Jakub Diviacky the local furniture maker due to her mothers death at child birth and her grandmother Augustine death two years later from consumption. So from the time she was two years old she had no female guidance in her life to show her how to act like a young lady.    

    Edmond on the other hand could not hide his impish ways if he tried. His red hair, freckle faced, gangly body and crooked smile told all he came across to be weary. Fact of the matter is that Gus and Edmond had been terrorizing the citizens of Vlkolinec for nearly 10 years now and they are all fed up with their mischievousness.  At the age of fifteen it was time for these two child hood friends to grow up and quit behaving so childish.

    Later that night as Gus kneeled at the edge of her bed to pray she asked the Lord’s forgiveness and that she would stop this childish behavior and to help her become the daughter her father deserved. There was no one else on earth that she loved more than her father and his disappointment in her was almost more than she could bear.

     “Lord I am so sorry for my behavior today I didn’t think it would be such a terrible thing to hide Anika’s doll in a tree where she could not reach it. It was all in fun and we didn’t hurt anyone. But still my father is right and it was a mean trick and I won’t do it again I am sorry I have embarrassed you both. Please help me to be more like my mother and to make my father proud to have a daughter. I can not bear to see the disappointment in his eyes again. So please Lord, help me to be better. I know that I have asked this before in times past but I am really sorry this time.  I am not worthy to be called your daughter but I will be someday I promise! Amen.”


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: